Laugh of the day # 7 - Cheer up a bit

1. England has madcow,

Hong Kong has Macau ,

Russia has Moscow,

S'pore has 2 famous co! ws-

'Cow-peh and cow-bo'

2. When ur life is in darkness......

Pray 2 God and ask Him 2 free u from darkness..... and

If u r still in darkness..Pls pay ur TNB bill.

3. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,

You can be sure of one thing;

Either the car is new or the wife.

4. An angry china man entered a shop and shouted :

Where's my free gift with this cooking oil?

Shopkeeper : What free gift??

China man : Oi, here got put "Cholesterol FREE!"

5. If u need ADVICE, SMS ME,

If u need DARLING, CALL ME,

If u need HELP, E-MAIL ME,

IF U NEED MONEY, Nombor yang anda dail,

tiada dalam perkhidmatan kami, TerimaKasih.

Laugh of the day # 4 - Italian Pregnancy

ITALIAN PREGNANCY


An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period
for 2 months.

Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'who was the pig that did this 

to you? I want to know!'
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari
stops in front of their house.

A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and
impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells
them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of
the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation
but I'll take charge.

I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail
stores, a townhouse, a beach front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.

If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on
the man's shoulder and tells him,

'You try again.' and the mom fainted...

laugh of the day # 3 - Some jokes to cheer u up...

MOM...CAN YOU BUY ME A BRA?
'Mum, can I ask you something?'
'Sure! What about?'
'You see, I'm already fourteen and... I think it's just proper that I should own one.'
'And what is this 'one' you're referring to?'
'Could you buy me a neat set of brassieres?'
'No.'
'But my nipples are already prominent and it catches attention.'
'Nope.'
'It will be just proper at my age...'
'I said no way...!'
'But all of my friends wear......!'
'David! How many times must I tell you that bras are for girls!?'


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WHO SHOT THE BEAR?
An 80 year old man is having his annual check-up at his doctor's office.
He says to the doctor, 'I've never felt better in my whole life. In fact, I have a 20 year old

bride who's pregnant and having my child. What do you think of that?'

The doctor thinks for a second and then says, 'Let me tell you a story. I know this guy

who's an avid hunter. He never misses a hunting season. But one day he's in a hurry to

go hunting and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his rifle. So he's in the woods

and suddenly a giant grizzly bear appears out of nowhere. He raises his umbrella, points

at the bear, squeezes the handle and the bear drops dead in front of him. What do you

think of that?'
The old man says, 'That's impossible. Someone else must have shot that bear!'
'EXACTLY' says the doctor.


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WHAT'S IN A NAME?
A Red Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.
'Say, Mom,' he asked, 'why is my big brother named Mighty Storm'?'
'Because he was conceived during a mighty storm.' she replied.
'Why is my sister named 'Corn Flower'?'
'Well,' his mother answered, 'Your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her.'
'And why is my other sister called 'Moon Child'?'
'We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived,' the mother replied.
The mother then asked the boy, 'Tell me, Broken Rubber, why are you so curious?'


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BIOLOGY LESSON
At a Biology class, the teacher asked the class:
'Why is that during childhood, gals tend to grow taller than guys?'
A student replied: 'That's because guys have balls and that weighs them down.'
Teacher: 'Then why is that at maturity, guys tend to grow taller than gals?'
Student: 'That's because gals have breasts and they are heavier than the guy's balls.'