Eat Now! - Food Blog In Malaysia: Funny

Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Thursday, September 16, 2010

NINE MONTHS LATER...

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob.

So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."

The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?"

"Yes, I do." said Bob.

"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

"Well, um, yes, "Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did."

"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy; I'm afraid I did." Why do you ask?"

"She just died and left me everything."

(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?... now

keep that smile for the rest of the day :)

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Ultimate Back Scratcher and The Wife Visit the Office

The wife visit the office.

Ultimate Back Scratcher

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Get out of my car

This is interesting...haha

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Go back home

Friday, July 31, 2009

This Guy Is Nuts

Monday, July 27, 2009

Stupid questions with smart answers

BOY: May I hold your hand?

GIRL: No thanks, it isn’t heavy.

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GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!

BOY: You love me…

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GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring?

BOY: Sure, what’s your phone number?

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GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.

BOY: Don’t you ever want to improve?

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MAN: You remind me of the sea.

WOMAN: Because I’m wild, romantic and exciting?

MAN: NO, because you make me sick.

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WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.

HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

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MARY : John says I’m pretty. Andy says I’m ugly.What do you think, Peter?

PETER : A bit of both. I think you’re pretty ugly.

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Girlfriend : “….And are you sure you love me and no one else?”

Boyfriend : “Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday”.

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Teacher : “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?”

Pupil : “The moon”.

Teacher : “Why?”

Pupil : “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it”.

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Teacher : “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”

Pupil : “A teacher”.

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Waiter : “Would you like your coffee black?”

Customer : “What other colours do you have ?”

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Teacher : “Sam, you talk a lot!”

Sam : “It’s a family tradition”.

Teacher : “What do you mean?”

Sam : “Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.”

Teacher : “What about your mother?”

Sam : “She’s a woman”..

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Tom : “How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed?”

David: “You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated”.

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Teacher : “Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?”

Student : “Brotherly love”.

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Teacher : “Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?”

Sam : “No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook”.

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Patient : “What are the chances of my recovering doctor?”

Doctor : “One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I’ve treated. The others all died”.

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Teacher : ” Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”

One Student : “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.”

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Teacher : ” George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.

Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him ?”

One Student: ” Because George still had the axe in is hand.”

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Happydent City Light

Sauna Video

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Laugh of the day # 6 - Have you laugh today?

1. There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.

The Female pencil got pregnant !!

Which Male pencil is responsible?

THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.

2. Woman in bed with husband's best friend,

phone rings! 'YES'.. OK, BYE'.

She turns to her lover and says,

THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.

3. Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.

Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!

Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!

Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!

4. Three Guys were introduced to a girl.

Hi,..... I'm Peter, not a saint.

I'm Paul not a POPE.

I'm John not a Baptist...

The girl replied.. Hi.. I'm Mary, not a VIRGIN.

5. Girlfriends are appetizers. Tastes good at any time.

Mistresses are Tomyams..Hot and spicy. Eaten frequently.

WIVES are Maggie. Eaten when there's nothing to eat.!!!

6. Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts

her occupation as CHICKEN FARMER.

She replied: I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!

7. Yesterday's News :- A nun jogging at Jogger' Park

was raped by 4 guys.

Today's News :- Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.

8. Why do Indians talk non stop?

Guess.... Still dunno? OK lah.....

Answer : Becoz they left their full stop on their

forehead.

Laugh of the day # 5 - Auditor Vs Prostitute

The truth about being an auditor..............

1. You work very late ...
... Just like prostitutes .


2. They pay you to make the client happy...
... Just like a prostitute.


3. The client pays a lot of money, but your employer keeps almost every
sen...
... Just like a prostitute .


4. You are rewarded for fulfilling the client's dreams...
... Just like a prostitute.


5. Your friendships fall apart and you end up hanging out with people in
the same profession as you...
... Just like a prostitute .


6. When you have to meet the client you always have to be perfectly
groomed...
... Just like a prostitute .


7. But when you go back home it seems like you are coming back from
hell...
... Just like a prostitute .


8. The client always wants to pay less but expects incredible things
from you...
... Just like a prostitute .


9. When people ask you about your job, you have difficulties to explain
it...
... Just like a prostitute .


10. Everyday when you wake up, you say: "I'm not going to spent the rest
of my life doing this."
... Just like a prostitute .

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Evian Roller Babies international version

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Mom Song

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Laugh of the day # 4 - Italian Pregnancy

ITALIAN PREGNANCY


An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period
for 2 months.

Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'who was the pig that did this

to you? I want to know!'
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari
stops in front of their house.

A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and
impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells
them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of
the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation
but I'll take charge.

I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail
stores, a townhouse, a beach front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.

If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on
the man's shoulder and tells him,

'You try again.' and the mom fainted...