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This Guy Is Nuts

Punjabi jingle bell

Stupid questions with smart answers

BOY: May I hold your hand?

GIRL: No thanks, it isn’t heavy.

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GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!

BOY: You love me…

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GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring?

BOY: Sure, what’s your phone number?

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GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.

BOY: Don’t you ever want to improve?

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MAN: You remind me of the sea.

WOMAN: Because I’m wild, romantic and exciting?

MAN: NO, because you make me sick.

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WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.

HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

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MARY : John says I’m pretty. Andy says I’m ugly.What do you think, Peter?

PETER : A bit of both. I think you’re pretty ugly.

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Girlfriend : “….And are you sure you love me and no one else?”

Boyfriend : “Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday”.

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Teacher : “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?”

Pupil : “The moon”.

Teacher : “Why?”

Pupil : “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it”.

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Teacher : “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”

Pupil : “A teacher”.

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Waiter : “Would you like your coffee black?”

Customer : “What other colours do you have ?”

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Teacher : “Sam, you talk a lot!”

Sam : “It’s a family tradition”.

Teacher : “What do you mean?”

Sam : “Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.”

Teacher : “What about your mother?”

Sam : “She’s a woman”..

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Tom : “How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed?”

David: “You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated”.

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Teacher : “Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?”

Student : “Brotherly love”.

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Teacher : “Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?”

Sam : “No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook”.

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Patient : “What are the chances of my recovering doctor?”

Doctor : “One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I’ve treated. The others all died”.

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Teacher : ” Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”

One Student : “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.”

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Teacher : ” George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.

Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him ?”

One Student: ” Because George still had the axe in is hand.”

Where Got Ghost HP teaser

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Laugh of the day # 6 - Have you laugh today?

1. There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.

The Female pencil got pregnant !!

Which Male pencil is responsible?

THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.

2. Woman in bed with husband's best friend,

phone rings! 'YES'.. OK, BYE'.

She turns to her lover and says,

THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.

3. Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.

Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!

Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!

Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!

4. Three Guys were introduced to a girl.

Hi,..... I'm Peter, not a saint.

I'm Paul not a POPE.

I'm John not a Baptist...

The girl replied.. Hi.. I'm Mary, not a VIRGIN.

5. Girlfriends are appetizers. Tastes good at any time.

Mistresses are Tomyams..Hot and spicy. Eaten frequently.

WIVES are Maggie. Eaten when there's nothing to eat.!!!

6. Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts

her occupation as CHICKEN FARMER.

She replied: I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!

7. Yesterday's News :- A nun jogging at Jogger' Park

was raped by 4 guys.

Today's News :- Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.

8. Why do Indians talk non stop?

Guess.... Still dunno? OK lah.....

Answer : Becoz they left their full stop on their

forehead.

Laugh of the day # 5 - Auditor Vs Prostitute

The truth about being an auditor..............

1. You work very late ...
... Just like prostitutes .


2. They pay you to make the client happy...
... Just like a prostitute.


3. The client pays a lot of money, but your employer keeps almost every
sen...
... Just like a prostitute .


4. You are rewarded for fulfilling the client's dreams...
... Just like a prostitute.


5. Your friendships fall apart and you end up hanging out with people in
the same profession as you...
... Just like a prostitute .


6. When you have to meet the client you always have to be perfectly
groomed...
... Just like a prostitute .


7. But when you go back home it seems like you are coming back from
hell...
... Just like a prostitute .


8. The client always wants to pay less but expects incredible things
from you...
... Just like a prostitute .


9. When people ask you about your job, you have difficulties to explain
it...
... Just like a prostitute .


10. Everyday when you wake up, you say: "I'm not going to spent the rest
of my life doing this."
... Just like a prostitute .

Fight for Kisses